We are back at university studying for our final years. It's already been 2 weeks now...
She's currently sitting opposite me typing to the other guy and using the webcam to see each other. The other guy doesn't know I'm living in the same house as her and definitely doesn't know that I'm right next to her. I wonder what would happen if I just move myself into the view of the webcamera...whatever would happen I'm not going to do it. It would obviously lead to a radical change in our relationships... it's such a simple action yet it could have such extraordinary implications on our lives...all three of ours. I don't know how long she is going to be sitting there but at least she's in the corner of the room and not facing kitchen or the door to upstairs or my room.
My relationship with her is quite strange. We kiss, we do foreplay (until we reach '...') but no 'sex'. We hold hands or I put my arm around her when we walk but no 'sex'. We slept in the same bed and we take showers together but no 'sex'... that is our relationship. If there was a song to sum up our relationship it would have to be 'Daft Punk - Something About Us'. Go and google the short and simple lyrics..
I've decided to become the fish and go where ever the river takes me. I've decided to forget about titles and such stuff because maybe I don't really love her that much anymore. Maybe I just want to have some awkward relationship that will set me straight for the real world when I graduate where I am determined to make a name and become rich. Maybe that didn't make much sense... what I'm saying is that my time with her is actually quite limited. Once she graduates (in 8 months time) she will have two choices: 1. Further study to obtain a masters degree 2. find a job. Now if she chooses to find a job it is more likely she will be doing so thousands of miles away from me. Therefore, whatever relationship we have now... it would be highly unlikely to continue if she chooses the path I have just described.
As for me, what about my future? Although I am also considering studying for a masters before making my 'big name' I don't really have any idea what subject or if I really have the budget or the 'I can be bothered to spend another year studying' attitude. What am I going to do? Nothing... I am the fish going with the flow...
