There was a journey. It proved to be the longest and hardest journey in my life. I was to meet her. It was decided before she wanted to break up with me that I was to go and visit her home. I had already booked the tickets and I wasn’t ready to cancel the flight or to back out from this relationship yet. I still loved her a lot. I wanted to talk to her in person, and I wasn’t willing to wait until she returned for the next academic year. I had another four or so weeks before my internship ended, the days were long and enduring. I kept calling her and we kept on good terms. This caused me to regain hope that she would once again be mine. Of course, when the crunch came and I finally realized it was not going to be easy or near impossible, it made it all the worse.
I anxiously waited for her in the hotel. She was to arrive three days after I had. I spent the days mostly around my hotel not knowing anyone and unable to communicate effectively with the locals. I looked through the vision porthole of my hotel door and saw four girls walking past, the one leading looked a lot like her. I opened the door and called her name. She turned around and looked at me. She was surprised. I looked different... she did too, we both did. Three of the four girls were to be staying in my double room. It wasn’t really a problem the room was big enough. One of them was to start an internship soon and the other two just happened to want to travel to this city to do some serious shopping.
Her three friends decided to do some shopping straight away and she stayed behind in the hotel because she was tired from travelling. We made love on the bed. The experience was different than before. It felt like we missed each other a lot. I felt like I still had a chance to be with her. I felt that she still loved me. Oh, how wrong could I get...?
There was no love for me. She was simply doing her duty to make me feel better. She knew she was wrong and she wasn’t the type who wanted to hurt others intentionally. She was an extremely selfish person but wanted to be a good person at heart, she just didn’t know what the right thing to do was. For each of the next five remaining days at the hotel, we made love on the bed...
Did it feel wrong to be doing these kinds of things when we were officially over and she had someone else now? Did I care? All I knew was that I loved her and she was stolen from me and it felt like maybe, just maybe our relationship could be fixed and she would come back to me if I put some effort into it... I was wrong, yet again. I was chasing a runaway dream...
